i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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