Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
