only if we run a train.
done.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
