so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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