now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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