you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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