Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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