He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
