Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
