you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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