Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
