I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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