not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
