WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize