She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
