Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just puked most of my soul out..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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