No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
