I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
