just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
this is an emotional support booty call
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
