And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
