I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
