be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
