Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize