Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize