just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
