I need help removing her.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
