I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
