That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize