My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You're like the curious george of whores
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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