oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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