I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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