Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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