Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
