you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
