Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
