This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
