That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
