wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
