So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
