I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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