i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
