That's when you crack a 10am beer
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
