I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
