im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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