Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
