You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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