Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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