My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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