yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
