Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
