So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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