so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Two words: nipple clamps
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