Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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