I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
where are my eyebrows?
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