My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize