ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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