She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
