the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
